Pensieve 1.4 Released!

This update is a big one. Along with many small UI improvements, version 1.4 contains several new features! Let’s take a look:

NEW: Send multi-line text!

The heading says it all: now, finally, you can send multiple lines of text in a single email!

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The text sieve UI supports multiple lines of text.

NEW: Status screen!

Click on the top left status icon (i.e. the cloud) from any sieve screen to open the status screen and see additional status info.

The status screen will always show you the current status of Pensieve, including any errors that may occur when sending emails, and if an app update is required.

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The status screen shows if your offline or online, how many emails are being sent, any errors that occur, and if the app needs an update.

NEW: Default screen option!

Choose which sieve UI is shown when you open Pensieve. Options include text, audio, image, and last viewed.

Do you often send yourself audio or image emails? Use the default screen option to have Pensieve always start on one of those screens!

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The default screen option allows you to always start on the audio screen or the image screen.

If you already use Pensieve, update to version 1.4 to use enjoy using the new features.

About Pensieve

Pensieve is an iOS app I created to make it dead simple to email myself. I use it to get stuff out of my head and into my inbox for later processing. Pensieve has no clunky email UI to slow me down, and with this update it’s easier to use than ever.

Pensieve is so useful to me that it’s a free download for everyone. Click the feather below to download Pensieve 1.4 from the App Store. I hope you give it a try and find it useful.

Download Pensieve 1.4 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Download Pensieve 1.4 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Pensieve 1.3 Released!

NEW FEATURE: Send Pictures!

With the latest version of Pensieve you can now take and send pictures!

If you already use Pensieve, update to version 1.3 to use enjoy using the new picture feature.

About Pensieve

Pensieve is an iOS app I created to make it dead simple to email myself. I use it to get stuff out of my head and into my inbox for later processing. Pensieve has no clunky email UI to slow me down, and with this update I can take pictures from within the app and send them to myself.

Pensieve is so useful to me that it’s a free download for everyone. Click the feather below to download Pensieve 1.3 from the App Store. I hope you give it a try and find it useful.

Download Pensieve 1.3 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Download Pensieve 1.3 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Pensieve 1.2 Released!

NEW FEATURE: Offline Mode!

The latest version of Pensieve now works offline!

Earlier versions of Pensieve would fail to email you and wouldn’t save the message when used without an Internet connection. Pensieve 1.2 saves your emails on your device and sends them automatically when you’re connected. Now you can use Pensieve all the time!

If you already use Pensieve, update to version 1.2 to use enjoy using the new offline mode.

About Pensieve

Pensieve is an iOS app I created to make it dead simple to email myself. I use it to get stuff out of my head and into my inbox for later processing. Pensieve has no clunky email UI to slow me down, and with this update I can make and send audio recordings, so I can use it while driving.

Pensieve is so useful to me that it’s a free download for everyone. Click the feather below to download Pensieve 1.2 from the App Store. I hope you give it a try and find it useful.

Download Pensieve 1.2 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Download Pensieve 1.2 for iPhone, iPad, and iPod touch for free.

Guardian of the Vibe

It’s a Friday night at Black Dog on Whyte Ave. The place is at capacity. It’s our buddy’s birthday party, so the community is out in force to celebrate, dance, and socialize.

After having a smoke break, I head back upstairs. Upon returning to my spot on the dance floor I notice a new face near me. The guy is wearing a “KC” baseball cap and sunglasses. I greet him. I’m wearing a cute fuzzy rave hood, which he compliments. I take off my hood and offer it to him. He puts it on. KC looks good, real steezy, with the brim of his baseball cap poking out from under the fuzzy hood.

After a few minutes of dancing near my new friend, some girls walk past us. KC, lightening fast, reaches his arm out and touches the girl leading the group. It looks like he pinches her exposed midriff. She pivots to face him, points her index finger at him, and says “No!” Then she resumes leading her friends to the bar.

My heart races. I have just witnessed something non-consensual. I know I have to speak up.

I address KC: “It’s a good idea to ask someone before you touch them.”

KC says: “I don’t care.”

“Seriously,” I emphasize, “it’s not OK to touch someone without asking.”

I ask him to give my fuzzy hood back. He hands it to me. I put it on and resume dancing. KC is still near me, and a few seconds pass. A minute or so later, KC turns to me.

“You know, you’re right. If I see her again, I’m going to apologize.”

“That’s awesome,” I say encouragingly, “I think she’ll really appreciate that.”

“Also, when you apologize to her, you may want to take off your sunglasses, so she can see your eyes. I think she’ll appreciate that, too.”

“Yeah, good idea. Thanks.”

Holy shit! What a huge experience for me. I felt huge.

That was an avalanche of firsts. It was the first time I called out the non-consensual behavior of another man. It was the first time I did it immediately, when it was most relevant. It was my first time to address a non-consensual act directly, to a stranger, in a public place. I felt like a boss.

But enough about me. The coolest thing about that experience? I think he got it. It seemed like he heard me, thought about what he did, and how it made the girl feel. He wanted to apologize. Maybe he will change his behavior in the future. I hope he will. That will be truly huge.

Guys, this is how we’ll make the world a safer, more fun place for all people. Speak up when other guys step out of line. They will listen. Be a Guardian of the Vibe.

I know it’s hard, but you’re not alone. Need help? Check out the Guardians of the Vibe website. They have flyers with ideas on how to spread consent awareness in your community and how to get involved when something non-consensual is going down. Let’s do this together.

Guardians of the Vibe

Pensieve 1.1 Released!

The latest version of my app, Pensieve, can now record and send audio emails! If you already use Pensieve, update to version 1.1 to use the new audio feature.

Pensieve is an iOS app I created to make it dead simple to email myself. I use it to get stuff out of my head and into my inbox for later processing. Pensieve has no clunky email UI to slow me down, and with this update I can make and send audio recordings, so I can use it while driving.

Pensieve is so useful to me that I’ve made it a free download for everyone. Click the feather below to download Pensieve 1.1 from the App Store. I hope you give it a try and find it useful.

Download Pensieve 1.1 for iPhone and iPad for free.

Download Pensieve 1.1 for iPhone and iPad for free.

Why I Married Myself

I fell in love with a boy.

It was two years ago at Burning Man. I was out in deep playa on Burn night when I met him. We rode our bikes to the trash fence and sat together in the cold and the darkness as I listened to him speak, sharing his feelings and reflecting on his life, really raw stuff, for hours.

Eventually we headed back to the city. As we neared the temple he stopped, got off his bike. He said he had something to write in there, and that he needed help. He was weeping as I guided him into the temple and he made his way to the large stone in the center. As he knelt and wrote on the stone with a sharpie he began wailing and crying out. When he was done writing he lay back and collapsed on the ground.

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The morning after burn night.

Sharing that experience with him changed my life. We started dating that night, and since then we’ve been inseparable. We’ve lived all over the world together and I’ve been with him during his triumphs and low moments, when meeting new friends, trying new things, and giving birth to new ideas. The experiences we’ve shared have strengthened our connection and brought us closer. I know him better than anyone else and I learn something new about him every day.

Last weekend I realized: “I want to marry this boy. Today.” So we got married.

The boy I love is me. I married myself.

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It’s me!

Why I Married Myself

Credit goes to Tracy McMillan for introducing me to the concept of marrying oneself. She did a TED talk in which she discusses this concept. The main idea of marrying yourself is that you commit to yourself, fully. That you’re saying “I’ll never leave you.” to yourself.

It’s a great talk and I encourage you to watch it.

After having forgotten about this idea for about a month, I remembered it last Sunday while returning to Victoria from Salt Spring Island, and I knew I was going to do it that afternoon.

All of the conditions were perfect: the weather was beautiful, I was feeling so in love with myself, I realized I’d loved, and been in love, with myself since that night at Burning Man, and the date was November 1, 2015, which was exactly two weeks after my 30th birthday and is a great wedding / anniversary date.

What do I think it means to marry myself? What do I want it to mean? What kind of marriage do I want to have? Those are the questions I thought about as I drove to Vic, and these are some of my answers:

Marrying myself means I will always be by my side. I’ll always be my own partner, loving and supporting myself. I’ll love myself for who I am now, as I am now, with no conditions placed on giving that love to myself. Marrying myself means I will take care of myself. It means I will love myself as I would like my lovers to love me. It means I will be honest and true to myself. And it means I will give myself the freedom and the blessing to grow and change in whatever ways I want and however much I want.

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Change is the only constant.

That last one is especially important. The way I see it, many relationship problems stem from opposition to change. As people, we tend to form an image and an understanding of each other and then lock that into place, failing to acknowledge that everyone is growing and changing all the time. Who we were yesterday is not who we will be tomorrow.

In many relationships, it’s not just the people but the relationship itself – the relating – that becomes patterned and stagnant. People settle into comfortably relating to each other on autopilot, and the relationship becomes brittle. When a relationship doesn’t support growth and change, and when one or both partners want to change, the relating becomes painful. Many relationships are too inflexible to allow the partners or the relationship to change, and when these changes insist on happening, the relationship breaks and ends.

I want my marriage with myself to be a practice in embracing change. The only partner I can count on to be with me for my whole life is me. I cannot escape this partnership, so I better make it a good one. Being my own life-long partner is the one thing that won’t change.

I will allow, encourage, and support myself in changing. Relating with myself in this way will create a standard of flexibility and change-embracing that will be a part of my relationships with others. In fact, all of the ways in which I relate with myself form the basis for how I relate with others, which is what makes the self-marriage idea so powerful. By marrying myself I am saying that I am going to work on all of my relationships, starting with me. As Tracy says in her talk, “when you marry yourself this huge thing happens: you become able to love in this whole new way” and that you can love people “right where they are, for who they are, the same way you’re able to love yourself.”

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The temple burns at Burning Man 2013.

How I Married Myself

The more I thought about this the more excited and confident in the idea I became. As I drove I was listening to Death Cab for Cutie and The Killers and crying. I had my hand on my leg just like how I’d want a lover to touch me. I was also a little scared. Scared! Seems silly, eh?

The great thing about marrying yourself is that you can do it however you want. It’s all about you! There are no established traditions or expectations to conform to or to fight, so it’s much easier to make your own! Here’s what I did.

First I stopped at home to collect a bunch of beautiful objects to decorate my wedding site. My stuffies, Moo Cow and Riku, were chosen to be witnesses. I also brought blankets, stones, and other sacred objects. Then I went shopping.

I knew I wanted a wedding ring, so I bought a simple silver wedding band. I wanted to give myself a gift that would remind me of the ceremony and how I care for myself, so I bought a wedding shawl. I also spontaneously decided to buy a wedding meditation cushion.

I wanted a wedding stone, something that would be a symbolic reminder that this marriage is based on a foundation of unconditional love, so I bought a piece of raw rose quartz.

I knew I’d want to share some nice things with myself to celebrate my union, so I bought fresh pipe tobacco and some really nice beer to drink after the wedding. Because Joshy loves beer!

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The site of my wedding ceremony.

After shopping I drove to the waterfront park in Victoria and picked a bench overlooking the water and the sunset. I arranged my ceremonial objects and sat down. I wrote my vows on paper from my notebook and tore out the pages. I read the vows out loud to myself, then I cut my finger with a knife and signed each page with my own blood. I folded the pages and placed them in a special vase I selected to keep them.

Then I put the ring on my finger and smiled. I was married.

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I wear my wedding ring on my right hand ring finger.

I poured myself a shot of scotch and packed my pipe. I toasted my union and drank and smoke to those sentiments. Since it was getting cold, windy, and wet I packed up and went to dinner. I had delicious butter chicken for my wedding dinner. Then I drove home.

The house was empty. I was preparing to enjoy beers by myself, but then my buddies Anton, Spencer, and Steeve returned. I decided they should be my wedding party, and they agreed, so we sat together in the kitchen, drank beers, and enjoyed each other’s company at my wedding reception.

Moving Forward

It’s important to me that my marriage isn’t in the background, something that I did and am now done with. I want it to be part of my daily life. So I wear my wedding band on the ring finger of my right hand. A band on that finger isn’t as strongly associated with traditional marriage to another person as is a band on the left hand, so I minimize that confusion while still wearing the ring. Since I’m in an open marriage with myself and I’m open to partnerships and marriage with other people, the ring finger on my left hand remains unoccupied.

This marriage is important to me, and I want to acknowledge it, instead of being quiet about it because it’s unusual. So I marked my wedding date on Facebook. One concern I had in doing that is “what if I meet a person I really like, who sees that I am married on Facebook, and then decides not to pursue a relationship with me because of that?” My response to that concern is that if a relationship or partnership opportunity dies because of the perception that I am not available for it, without the other person checking with me to confirm my interest and availability, then that’s probably not a person I want to be in a relationship with anyway.

I’m stoked to be married to myself. It feels great. I feel great. I feel like my perception of myself has changed. I am more caring towards myself, more tender, more appreciative. I hope that by sharing my experience with self-marriage other people may be inspired to enter into loving relationships with themselves that will improve their relationships with everyone.

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My wedding site after sunset.

Back in Portland

So, what does a digital nomad like me get up to during his first week in Portland?

Let’s take a look…

Beautiful scenery on my first day.DSC00105

Biscuits and fried chicken!DSC00074

Wasted no time getting a membership at the climbing gym.DSC00147

Coffee. Early and often.
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Buying my first piece of original artwork! (Above my hand on her shoulder.)DSC00068

Enjoying étouffée (surprisingly!), drinking a local beer, and reading about sex. Yum.
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House party!
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More house parrty.DSC00108

Moarrr house parrrty.DSC00122

The Portland Youth Philharmonic killed it!DSC00156
Shrimp and grits.
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Let’s Make Eye Contact

I’m currently in the middle of a lifestyle experiment called Let’s Make Eye Contact.

The premise is simple: every day I invite a stranger to make eye contact with me for 60 seconds.

The project just over four weeks old and the results are AMAZING!

I get to interact with many delightful people. I am surprised over and over again at peoples’ willingness to make eye contact with me and allow their picture to be used on the blog. My ability to do things like approach strangers, face the possibility of rejection, hold conversations with new people, make eye contact, and empathize with others has increased a lot already. I can feel my prejudices and assumptions about people getting massaged away with every new interaction.

Although my commitment to the project was only for 30 days, I am planning to continue to practice this exercise beyond the official completion date. So far, most of my interactions have been in Victoria BC. I intend to take this experiment to other cities, other countries, and other cultures. I want to keep pushing myself to interact with people who I otherwise might not have a reason to engage or know what to say to them. Doing this project brings me such a sense of fulfillment and enrichment that to stop would feel like a great loss – so I don’t plan to stop!

You can follow along with my daily interactions on the Let’s Make Eye Contact blog. The project site also has a gallery of participant portraits that is an absolute treat to browse.

Announcing: Jump Tanks Pre-Alpha Preview!

I am pleased to announce the Pre-Alpha Preview of Jump Tanks, the game on which I’ve been working during my nomadic adventures!

For a limited time anyone can sign up to play Jump Tanks for free. Steam keys will be granted to to participants and there will be regular play sessions during which players can get into the game, play with the team, and provide valuable feedback to guide the development and polish of Jump Tanks.

While still early in development, the game is showing real promise and those who have played will tell you that it’s a frenzied party full of bullets and intense melee futuristic tank combat!

Head to the Jump Tanks Pre-Alpha Preview Sign Up site to get your name on the list for a Steam key! The first play session is next Wednesday, November 12 from 7 PM – 9 PM Pacific!